hilarious answers from dumb/creative students

News Type: Other — Seeded on Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:46 PM EST

Article Source: the Mail online

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it's not far enough for today's pupils.

But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.

After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student howlers in a new book.

You won't know whether to laugh - or cry.

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Public Discussion (18)

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7.5

{"commentId":10852235,"authorDomain":"buttzie"}

buttzie

I especially like the 2 polar bears and 4 seals answer.

{"commentId":10852235,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"buttzie"}

6 votes

#1 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:49 PM EST

{"commentId":10854425,"authorDomain":"zomzom"}

Zom Zom

That one is genius. The addition failure in it stating "three four" dramatically improves the humor value. But I thought thought the hedgerows answer was pure gold:

"State three drawbacks of hedgerow removal.
1. All the cows will escape
2. The cars drive into the field
3. There is nowhere to hide"

Oh, so good.

{"commentId":10854425,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"zomzom"}

4 votes

#1.1 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:21 PM EST

{"commentId":10854664,"authorDomain":"buttzie"}

buttzie

The "three/four" is what put into first place for me. The hedgerow is a classic as well.

{"commentId":10854664,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"buttzie"}

3 votes

#1.2 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:33 PM EST

{"commentId":10855026,"authorDomain":"TR966"}

TR-421173

Hilarious and sad at the same time.

http://beconfused.com/images/2007/04/Homework-Find-x-Here-it-is.gif

{"commentId":10855026,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"TR966"}

3 votes

#1.3 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:49 PM EST

{"commentId":10855261,"authorDomain":"tcooper2004"}

RACHEL1-933952

Hadrian's Garden!

Sad, yes...made me laugh, Oh yes!!!!!

{"commentId":10855261,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"tcooper2004"}

4 votes

#2 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:00 PM EST

{"commentId":10855301,"authorDomain":"shub"}

Shub Tnediserp Remrof

These remind me of a movie with Luke Wilson named Idiocracy. Not a great movie, but if you want to see what the future is to bring if we continue down the path of being dumb as a society.

{"commentId":10855301,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"shub"}

4 votes

#3 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:03 PM EST

{"commentId":10858019,"authorDomain":"kshark"}

Kshark

*nearly pissing myself laughing hard, almost ready to cry too.*

{"commentId":10858019,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"kshark"}

5 votes

#4 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:26 PM EST

{"commentId":10858297,"authorDomain":"buttzie"}

buttzie

Ditto

{"commentId":10858297,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"buttzie"}

4 votes

#4.1 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:41 PM EST

{"commentId":10862489,"authorDomain":"cxmb"}

Anita Bail Out

A standalone system doesn't come with a chair....

a fibula is a little lie...

LOL!

{"commentId":10862489,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"cxmb"}

2 votes

#4.2 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:52 AM EST

{"commentId":10861153,"authorDomain":"lvmom"}

LV Mom

Loved the "expand 2(x+y)" and the one about the signing of the Declaration. Sometimes it's better to put any answer than no answer. At least the instructor gets a laugh out of it.

{"commentId":10861153,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"lvmom"}

2 votes

#5 - Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:35 PM EST

{"commentId":10863476,"authorDomain":"Randilly"}

Randilly

I got a big kick out of: "What happens during puberty to a boy?"-- " He says goodbye to childhood, enters Adultery."

{"commentId":10863476,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"Randilly"}

2 votes

#6 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:55 AM EST

{"commentId":10867614,"authorDomain":"arad"}

Arad

Here's an entry into this little topic.

Kudos if you get what the essay writer is referencing. If you don't, here's what he's parodying: Unlimited Blade Works.

{"commentId":10867614,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"arad"}

1 vote

#7 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 11:19 AM EST

{"commentId":10870339,"authorDomain":"cxmb"}

Anita Bail Out

lol! "Most creative way of failing my class. Hope to see you next semester."!!!

{"commentId":10870339,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"cxmb"}

1 vote

#7.1 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:11 PM EST

{"commentId":10871847,"authorDomain":"kamronmason"}

Just an Observation-826313

Here is one from the opposite spectrum. Hope you enjoy.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

{"commentId":10871847,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"kamronmason"}

3 votes

#8 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:19 PM EST

{"commentId":10874044,"authorDomain":"cxmb"}

Anita Bail Out

Well, he (she?) certainly demonstrated an understanding of Boyle's Law. lol!

{"commentId":10874044,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"cxmb"}

1 vote

#8.1 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:54 PM EST

{"commentId":10878324,"authorDomain":"Randilly"}

Randilly

This is the most profound proof of Divinity, I have ever seen. My soul may have just been saved.

{"commentId":10878324,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"Randilly"}

1 vote

#8.2 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 6:59 PM EST

{"commentId":10872191,"authorDomain":"lvmom"}

LV Mom

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

ROFLMAO!!

{"commentId":10872191,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"lvmom"}

1 vote

#9 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:32 PM EST

{"commentId":10874444,"authorDomain":"eamonn101"}

eamonn101

loved it LOL

{"commentId":10874444,"threadId":"731239","contentId":"3535497","authorDomain":"eamonn101"}

2 votes

#10 - Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:10 PM EST

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